Have you ever had to save yourself from yourself? A few months ago, I caught myself spinning in a mess of uncertainty. I was uncertain about the steps I was taking for Vive’s growth and nervous I should be taking different (or more) steps. I shared that internal spiral with a great friend, and she told me to knock it off. In fact, she told me, “Give yourself a &*#@-ing break!”
Sidebar: Have you ever had a friend tell you to knock it the hell off and lay off yourself? It’s so good! It’s so good because you know they see what you can’t see in that moment. It’s so good because they love you and want the best for you. It’s so good because sometimes we get sucked into our own spiraling thoughts and simply need help getting out of that mind tornado.
So back to knocking it off. Starting Vive Unlimited was a powerful and transformational journey for me. It pushed me beyond what I thought I could do, gave me energy when I thought I was out of drive, helped me connect with my passions and purpose, and led me to new friends while deepening my current friendships. Starting this passion project has been so beautiful for my soul yet so, so …hard.
I’ve been reading the book, “Women Gathering and Growing with TEA,” by Tracy Bradshaw. In the book, Tracy talks about needing her own knock-it-off pause. She says, “it’s an uncomfortable process of reviewing our behaviors and actions—including what we have been hiding from ourselves and others—and then calculating the hard things we find.”
That was the perfect message for me because while I love getting quiet to listen to God and to learn so that I grow, I am good at avoiding things that feel too weird or hokey for me. I’m also good at blasting past thoughts or feelings and moving on to whatever shiny thing is in front of me. This time though – because my friend prescribed me 3 months to “just be” – I intentionally got uncomfortable so that I could best understand where the angst was living, to dismantle any fears I had that I didn’t even realize.
How did I get uncomfortable?
- I started meditating. I even bought a fancy candle with rocks and stuff in it to make the quiet more special. I first had to get over the inner cynicism about meditation itself. Something in me thought it was silly, so I just had to get over it. Buying the candle helped (because pretty and delicious-smelling things always help).
- I listened to affirmations daily. I’ve heard it tons of times that we tell ourselves lies and have a negative reel of thoughts constantly running in our minds. It’s all internal so it’s hard to recognize. Listening to the positive affirmations in the morning is a great way to reprogram those thoughts. I had to change my routine by one little click (listening to Project369 on YouTube versus listening to the radio).
- I told my husband about the swirling thoughts and my desire to get to a specific vision. I confessed I was stuck—even though strategy and marketing are my profession. He helped me see how much of my vision was already alive. I was too close to my own project and became frantic in trying to achieve that great vision by doing all the things (or wanting to do all the things) and doing them all at once.
- I listened to him. I don’t always believe what he says (that’s probably a different kind of “deep-dive into LeAnn’s thoughts” blog), but this time I sat with his perspective and then believed instead of ignoring or going into analysis paralysis looking for a different answer. I celebrated and recognized how Vive is already impacting other peoples’ lives – even my own life.
What did I learn?
- One step at a time is a great step forward when your intentions are true.
- All or nothing (or, I’m a failure) needs to be dismissed from my mentality.
- Share the spiraling thoughts so that they don’t consume and become truth.
- Pause, reflect, understand, get uncomfortable, learn, grow, and take the next step.
- Having a plan with goals along the way is great but don’t over-strategize.
I plan to incorporate some of this learning into the next Vive X Event. There will be exceptional women leading us through the process of getting quiet and then gaining clarity of goals and purpose. We’ll talk about practical ways to operate in simple harmony with life